Monday, July 22, 2013

My Journey

My hands shake as I type these words. My mind and heart are in a race. This life of mine.... Oh, this life of mine.

It's been almost 11 years since handcuffs were first clasped to my arms. A scared young boy I was. Full of promise and opportunity, light surrounded me. And then, the handcuffs grew tighter, and the light began to fade. Darkness became my environment... Pain, humiliation, and suffering became my enemy. I was 16 years old when the system took me away from my mother. 16 when I stepped into hell.

I watched my mother frantically do all that she possibly could to pull me out of that whole. Her tears fell to my face, and her cries fell short on deff ears as I slipped from her grip further into darkness. We shared each others pain.

Mom, I will forever love you.

I lost 10 years of my life over lies. My freedom, stripped away. My name, slandered, my innocence, replaced.... With rage. I wanted revenge. I wanted Her to suffer. I wanted them ALL to suffer as I did. As my mother and family did. The darkness that surrounded me was now in me.

My faith is what has me here today.  In complete darkness, I saw light. And a choice was presented: Accept this evil and become what is expected of me, or reach for that faint glimmer of light and defy the odds. I chose the impossible, the struggle, the less traveled path. And that light began to brighten. And that brightens began to shine. And darkness became transparent.  As I allowed darkness, rage, and anger to enter, I allowed it to exit. My pain and suffering became my friend, as well as my teacher. I embraced them both, and they know me well.

I stand here today a free man. Hands bruised and bloodied from the climb out hell. Mind and spirit scorned from the experiences. Heart... hardened. I never gave up. With every reach to the sky as I climbed out of that whole, I redirected that hateful energy. And that alone gave me power. What was once anger and revenge is now determination and ambition. Success IS my revenge. The fact that I WILL NOT BREAK is my anger. The smile my mother now has is my assurance.

Tomorrow marks another great day, as I travel back to Flowery Branch, GA. Another great mission, another defying act. The odds are against me... But the odds know me well. And although doubt surrounds me, there is no doubt in my mind, there is no fear in my heart. And as I step onto that field day for training camp, and throughout, I will do it with the mindset of a winner. I went to hell and back, and survived a better man.

I've already won.

-Brian Banks

RISE UP
@BrianBanksFREE
www.BrianBanks.org

60 comments:

  1. let's go #53!!!! love you!!!

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  2. Yes indeed, you have already won. I believe with my entire being that God allows us to experience certain things in life that He knows will strengthen, sharpen, and grow us, but not kill us. We often ask: why me? But why not? God already knows who will stand and go forth changing lives in the process of learning who they are.

    I pray God's continued blessings and favor in your life and endeavors. Thank you for the courage and heart to share your journey and truth. May it inspire many. Salud.

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  3. Yes indeed, you have already won. I believe with my entire being that God allows us to experience certain things in life that He knows will strengthen, sharpen, and grow us, but not kill us. We often ask: why me? But why not? God already knows who will stand and go forth changing lives in the process of learning who they are.

    I pray God's continued blessings and favor in your life and endeavors. Thank you for the courage and heart to share your journey and truth. May it inspire many. Salud.

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  4. Brian... I've been a Falcons Fan since 1966 and with my #33 jersey no longer valid, I was toying with #2, #11 or yet in support of #39...

    However I want you to know that there are those like me out here who believe in your full story coming to the fullest of happy endings and with that, I'm ordering my #53 jersey today...a $129 investment...

    I look forward to the first home game September 15 against the Rams... I'll come early pregame so look for me at the Falcons locker room field entrance... I look forward to a Rise Up hug and an opportunity for you to autograph my new jersey!! I believe in you!

    Hugh Tyner

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  5. Brian my man, I been fallowing youre story ever since it was posted on COTWA. Im also recovering from a false rape accusation, but fortunately for me she just couldn't keep her lies straight. Keep up the fight big man, you gotta lotta living to do!!

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  6. Its your time now...Make it happen

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  7. God bless you man, now go out and hoist that Lombardi trophy.

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  8. love it. very inspiring. atlanta's pulling for you

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  9. I am a 49er fan, but I am seriously rooting for you, I wish you the best, and you are right about something, You´ve already won.

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  10. Inspiring to hear your story. Will be following your blog. I hope that you run faster, tackler hard, lift more and earn your place on that 53 man roster.

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  11. Ive been following your story since I first saw it on NFL.COM.Your an inspiration and im rooting for you.

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  12. No Doubt your gonna make the 53
    Rise Up!

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  13. It's been said already in various ways, but I think this is the rare situation where fans like me, who support teams other than the Falcons, are pulling for you to succeed. While I'm a Packer fan, I'm a bigger fan of the strength of character you exhibit; not just in how you survived, but also in how you forgave the girl who was responsible. Good luck!

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  14. we glad to have u on our team welcome to rise up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nation falcons

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  15. Hi Brian. I'm a Falcons fan from Italy.
    I was touched when i first heard your story, and i'm glad my beloved team gave you a chance.
    You are worth of it.
    Now use all that anger to prove you can play. I really hope you'll make the team. I've already planned to buy your shirt once the season will start and you'll be on that sideline.
    RISE UP man, my prayers are for you, even miles and miles away from Grorgia.
    Dario

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  16. Do your thing Mr Banks.

    Seize the opportunity, I know that you will.

    Huge Falcon fan from London England rootin' for you all the way.

    Matt

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  17. good luck on your journey from germany!

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  18. Don't forget to enjoy the journey. Living in the moment is what is required anyway, so stay focused. I think you are going to do just fine at LB but also remember that special teams are the way you clinch a 2013 roster spot. I like your chances. Rise up!

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  19. Rise UP! indeed. We're rooting for you, Banks.

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  20. In Life we go through hard times...but a person is define by how they get up and continue to live positive. You are an inspiration to all and I wish you the BEST!! Good Luck and Rise up!!

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  21. God bless you, Mr. Banks! You will make the team!

    Rise up! Rooting for you from Germany!

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  22. my wife and i have followed your story since it became national story and made its way to ohio. we are rooting for you. you deserve it. if it doesn't work out in atlanta, come to cleveland, we could use some inspiration on our team.

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  23. Best of luck - truly remarkable story and great perseverance - you give us all hope when the chips are down

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  24. Good Luck and I will be rooting for you.

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  25. I see you on the field for the Falcons! It's done!

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  26. It's not where you've been, it's where you are.
    Life begins every morning . . .

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  27. Very inspiring and I wish you the best of luck. I will be pulling for you and look forward to reading the updates in your journey.

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  28. God Bless; can't wait to see you on the field this year.

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  29. Hey man I got a picture of you at the Tailgate challenge. My mission was to find you and tell you we're proud of you here in Atlanta and we are behind you 100%. Hope you do well and we all look forward to seeing you take the field at the Dome and bring the fear of God into the opposing teams.

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  30. I am praying for you, and I am offering a day of fasting for you on Wednesday. God bless! #LiveintheLight

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  31. I cannot begin to imagine what you have been through but I am so amazed and impressed with your attitude. You are an inspiration to everyone. I can't wait to see you in the Ga Dome. You bring a real, true meaning to the phrase "Rise Up". God bless you!

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  32. Brian, you are an amazingly special person. I couldn't be prouder to have you wear the Red and Black, for you are the true embodiment of our slogan "RISE UP". You have done exactly that, rose up from a hell of someone else's creation that you were thrown in, and remind us that you have to look towards the future. Your future is bright and I can't wait to see you on the field. My wife and I will be at the game in Arizona on October 27th, and we both look forward to meeting you

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  33. I don't know you personally, but I do understand you well. Moreso, your mother. I read this blog and it struck deep. I could feel every word.

    In 2002, this also happened to my son, he was 15. My son was not the person originally accused, but was the one who paid. Everyone, including CPS said the allegations were false but it did not matter.(long story) The harder I fought for him, the worse things they did to him. He was gone for 3 years. When he came home, he was not the same. It took years to regain his faith in God.

    Yet in 2010, he was hit again. It was way too easy with a prior. Sexual assault allegations soley made by his fathers wife, after my son caught her "cheating." My son was arrested 9 days later. He believed with all his heart the charges would be dismissed. As an adult, he thought he had a better chance. The step mom tried to drop the charges, but the DA refused. Nick stood tall, through it all. On June 13, 2013, he went in to serve 3 years in prison.

    Brian, please remain a voice for the voiceless. Keep informing the public about false allegaions and wrongful convictions. What I am trying to say is no matter how "big" you get, please never forget the people whose lives have been affected, like yours was. I was never a football fan, but i will be now. Hey, you are already a champion to me!

    "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."

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  34. Around the 4th home game, you will hear a familiar sound every time you make a play. Spoooooooooon? Nope.

    Baaaaaaaaank!

    We gonna take D-Block to The Bank!

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  35. Rise Up, Mr. Banks! The ATL got you. Now let's go win some football games!

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  36. Happy Birthday! The day of your birth is also a day to celebrate your mother and the life she gave to you. A mother's love knows no boundaries. Thank you for sharing, and no matter the obstacle, Keep Moving Forward!

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  37. We are all pulling for you and hope you make the team. Proud to hear about what you have been through and were able to overcome. You are truly a role model for our youth, and THAT is something we truly need in the NFL.

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  38. "To Hell and Back" has many different meanings for many different people. Sir, your taste of "Hell" was at a temperature that would have melted the average man.

    Your story, unknown to me until now, is not only inspirational, but can create for anyone suffering in any fashion a picture of what TRUE suffering is.

    I commend you, I respect you, and I pray that GOD favor you in ways worthy of the torment you've endured.

    In the book of Job, and later in the book of Ecclesiastes, we are all reminded of what life may or may not present us with.

    In the end, you will rise to new heights beyond that which you could possibly imagine.

    Thank you for sharing.

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  39. I'm pulling for you. I want to see you in D-Block this year. RISE UP BANKS!!!

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  40. Adversity doesn't build character it reveals it. You clearly have what it takes to overcome on or off the field. You will never get the time and youthful innocence back but God saw fit to give your opportunity and good name back. I hope you make the most of the opportunity and take that good name all the way to the hall of fame. Steelers fan and student of the game since I was old enough to understand football. This goes beyond the game and i will be proud to wear your jersey. Im also throwing this out there to the commissioner "The Brian Banks Comeback Player of the Year Award" has a nice ring and deserving feel to it.

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  41. We are so ready to see you as a member of the D-Block! Can't wait to watch you share your gifts this season. Dirty Birds, Baby!

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  42. God Bless you with health, wisdom, and stamina! You have inspired me. You have overcome! Have fun making this roster!

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  43. Great blog, Brian! Very inspirational. God bless.

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  44. Brian,

    I've been an Atlanta Falcon's football fan for my entire life.

    But, football aside, I have been a fan of yours since reading about your story on the news.

    Deeply moved by your commitment to yourself and your commitment to not become the man "they" expected you to be. You were put in chains by a broken system, and you have made it through the darkness.

    God speed, Brian. Keep working hard, keep being positive, and keep believing in yourself!

    Oh, and looking forward to seeing you in the red and black this fall!!

    RISE UP!

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  45. Brian, you have totally risen and ready to fly! What you have experienced would have broken many, however you stayed strong and kept the spirit of God in your heart. We all know bad things happen to good people all the time, but what matters is how we handle our experiences. Brain, I applaud how you handled your situation. One blessing in your experience is that it gives others strength and hope to push through their situation. It helps others see first hand that regardless of the your darkest hours if you just stay strong emotionally and mentally you can make it through to what God has for you. All of my children are academic athletes. We have two girls and a boy. They all play basketball and my son loves football! I tell them all the time people can move, bump, and push, but what is for you no one can take if it is meant to be. Brain, our family is so excited for you!

    Great Success!
    http://www.empowernetwork.com/shannoncoleman1

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  46. we will be coming from Bahamas next month to watch you practice in Flowery Branch - Go Brian !!
    what an inspiration / have been following this story for a few years, and watched a video last year as you began your new life. Good luck

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  47. Keep your head up Sir and stay on the grind! What's for you is for you and no man can close a door God has open. And no man can open a door God has closed! Big Spencer

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  48. Brian,

    Let's go to work! I cannot wait to come out and watch you and the rest of the Falcons practice. I'll be waiting to see you don our colors for the first preseason game. I wish you the best of luck!

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  49. God is si good .....no one can stop destiny.Prayed for you my brother.Greater is coming ...what a powerful testimony! Continue to give God the glory forever and always.Shalom!

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  50. Mr. Banks,
    Today I went to training camp, and although I was unable to get your autograph :( I will before the sessions are over, I'm sure, I was so moved by your kindness and concern for the fans, it made me proud to be a Falcon and even prouder we get to call you one of our own. It was so exciting to see your 53 jersey on the field today. I am so glad that Atlanta is where your path brought you, but my heart breaks knowing all the pain and suffering it took you to get here. I hope you are enjoying training camp and the Falcons, and I know that we are enjoying watching you work hard and grow with our organization. This is my first year as a season ticket holder, I really hope before the season is over I get to shake your hand and tell you how much your story and determination has encouraged me.
    Good luck and best wishes,
    Emiley Missler

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  51. Standing ovation Brian!! With God on your side NOTHING is impossible. You are a walking testimony to Gods grace and mercy. You have won!!!! Much love and many prayers!!!
    Kishonda Alexander

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  52. I commend you! May you continue to grow and prosper against every odd. God bless!

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  53. I am a 31 year season ticket holder and can't remember pulling for anyone more than you to make my beloved Falcons. Your story has been an inspiration to me in dealing with a situation in my life. Never would I associate my detour with the severity of your heart breaking tragedy but I have been so inspired by your mental toughness and determination. Thank you, Brian. This lady should pay for this gross injustice with same sentence, serve equivalent time as the sentence she perpetrated on you. I know I will not be the last person to be moved and inspired by your unbelievable journey. May God bless and keep you healthy to allow you every opportunity to make our team. I'll be watching, praying and pulling for you. Go get’em 53.

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  54. BB....You have been the missing link to what we've needed on the Falcon D-Block for quite some time. That intangible quality that you bring is what the team needs. The Falcon Nation is pulling for you.....RISEUP!!!!

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  55. Amazing story! I for one will be rooting for you this coming season with whatever team gives you the chance that you so rightfully deserve. Your story is inspiring.

    "Character is like a tree, reputation is like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it, the tree is the real thing." - Abraham Lincoln.

    You sir, are a mighty tree. Your character is outstanding. Keep it up and know that you have fans in Spokane, Washington.

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  56. Brian,
    I have prayed for you and your family since I first watched you story some months ago.
    I to know the full pain of being wrongfully accused. My Story was showcased on CBS 48 Hours "Power and Passion" April 13, 2013 and also "The Prosecution (Persacution) of Stephen Nodine How a Suicide Became a Murder" by Brendan Kirby ( www.al.com . Julio Jones your teammate and agent Matt know my story to well as it happened in his home county of Baldwin County, Alabama.
    We are bonded by wrongful prosecutions and rouge prosecutors who tried to destroy our lives, but faith, family and friends will prevail!
    I am so proud of you, keep your faith and family close, we both know, that is what got us through all of this!
    I also say this, you and I have an obligation to help those wrongfully accused. Brian Banks, Stephen Nodine, Ray Lewis,Sen. Ted Stevens ( former Senator from Alaska) and so many that are not high profile like our cases need help!
    God Bless and big hugs to mom, boy oh boy mom's huh!
    Stephen Nodine
    Former County Commissioner
    Mobile, Alabama
    stephennodine@gmail.com
    Justice for Stephen Nodine ( Facebook)

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