Sunday, August 4, 2013

Beyond Me

I remember sitting in a prison cell thinking to myself repeatedly...daily, " I just want to be free. I just want to be normal..." I would say the same thing over and over again to myself when finally home yet still on parole, confined by a GPS tracking device on my ankle, a parole officer who wanted nothing more than to send me back to prison, and a life not mine.

12 days into mini camp with the Atlanta Falcons. I still cant believe I'm here. Still cant believe the possibilities. Yes, still taken back by all that I've experienced. I mean, what a life.  From riots, fights, lockdowns, and strip searches, to defensive schemes with Coach Nolan and Coach Pires, sharing a locker room with Matt Ryan, Sean Weatherspoon, Tony Gonzalez, and Asante Samuel's (the list goes on) wearing the Atlanta Falcons seal. Some may call this a dream come true. I call it a dream almost fulfilled.

Yes, I am here. But I am not there. I wear #53, but still have yet to earn a spot on the 53 man roster. Everything that is in me is in my efforts towards accomplishing what many call the impossible. My heart, my focus, my mind, and will. But there is also fear. I don't fear much at all, but one of my biggest fears in life is failure. Making this team means so much to me. So much to my family. But becoming an Atlanta Falcon is bigger than football. I repeat, this is BIGGER than football. And it is bigger than me. Far beyond me. This is for the forgotten. The hopeless. Those who have forgotten how to be inspired, those who could use a little more.

 I stood in front of over 100 wrongfully convicted men and women in Charlotte, NC.  Most had severed over 15 years behind bars from crimes uncommitted. 20 years. 30 years. And as I stood in front of them, all I could see was lives ruined, time lost, souls forgotten. I began to think of the many others still incarcerated for crimes uncommitted. And all the less fortunate ones of the world.

I think of my mother constantly. And how she sacrificed her home and car for my freedom. My family, that fact that we still struggle even today despite how things may seem.

Making this team brings forth a voice. A statement. Never quit, never give up on your dreams, and never say never. Most of all, a mighty example of a spiritual force that can do any, all, and the impossible byway of faith and belief.

This is beyond me now, I am only but a vessel. The proof is in the supporters, the cheers, the countless well wishes, the prayers from you all.... The fear of failure.

" I just want to be free. I just want to be normal..."

Well, I'm free. God is good. But I guess it's safe to safe I've surpassed normal.

-BB

F.E.A.R. - False Evidence Appearing Real


Game 1 vs. CIN Bengals This Thursday. 

16 comments:

  1. You truly are an amazing person and inspiration! I just love your posts! WHEN you make the Atlanta Falcons (or wherever you may land), this Texas girl is a fan for life!

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  2. I Love your positive attitude and the fact that you still have hope. With faith and hope, anything is possible. Our God is greater! I wish the best for you on this journey. Atlanta Falcons Rise Up! I'll be rooting for ya.

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  3. Dear Mr. Banks,
    Your story stirs up such emotion. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would care about the incarcerated, until my son become a victim of the system. He is sitting in prison today, 15 years on a mandatory minimum for armed robbery. He had no weapon, he stole nothing, he had no priors. Your story helps me to help him. I will fight your fight, I no longer ignore the inhumanities that go on in our prisons, and as a mother I am determined to be heard.
    I have already been invited to help make changes in our county, and I would love the opportunity to meet you.
    I pray for you every day, and I hope the Falcons understand what they have in you.

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  4. Only by the Grace of God my friend keep spreading the Gospel of Christ

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  5. Thank you for sharing your life story with us all. Please continue to inspire us through your determination to do the best that you can. Thank you for not becoming bitter from your trials. I'm so happy for you and will continue to send prayers up for you. May your walk in life be a blessed one, stay positive !

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  6. I pray for your continued strength! God gives us many lessons and blessings for a lifetime. It's BIGGER than football and YOU are more than your story! Your courage, your spirit, you have so much more to do here. Live in your moment, rebuke any pressure you may feel and all negative vibes and just BE. Very proud of you and your journey. Stay focused in the word and your future is limitless!!

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  7. I am so happy for you. Thank you for remembering the many still locked up who will never again feel freedom, even though they are innocent of the charge that landed them there. Most Americans are oblivious to the truth about our justice system. Most do not realize that most ofthe 775,000 men, women and children listed n the public shaming lists called sex offender registries are INNOCENT WITH NO WAY TO PROVE IT BECAUSE THE CASE HAD NO DNA. Most dont believe that the justice system is filled with Hitler minded people who will and do take innocent lives away every single day in every single city, state and county in this country. It is sickening. NOTHING HAPPENS TO FALSE ACCUSERS....NOTHING. THEY DESERVE THE DEATH PENALTY.

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  8. Such humility. My heart goes out to you and your family brother. I will be praying for you on Thursday Brian. God is using you. Keep your eyes on the King!

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  9. Love your blogs Brian!! Just the raw emotion that you are willing to share with people that have never gone through anything like you have in your life. Praying for you brother. Rise UP!!

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  10. Go BB#53 Im Cheering 4 Ya Bruh I'm a Huge Falcon Fan n I've Followed Your Journey So Hope u Make The Team.. Show Em Wat U Got Thursday vs The Bengals i Kno I'm Going 2 Be Looking For #53 The Leave It All On The Field!

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  11. Cheering you on Brian...thank you for showing the rest of the world a positive attitude with love, kindness and hope. You are an inspiration to many. Good luck in your first season with the NFL, you deserve it.

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  12. Can't wait to watch you Rise Up tonight, Brian! I am so glad you are a Falcon. I hope the organization realizes how lucky we are to have you. I wish you the best as you pursue your dreams and pray you make the team. I will be one of the first buying your jersey. Rise up!!

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  13. At the very same time Mr. Banks was going through his trial, I was going through the very same with eight additional fraudulent charges layered on. Like Mr. Banks, I was falsely accused. Fortunately, for me, the truth came out. Even after it did in the phony criminal case, a civil suit was filed by the most unscrupulous woman I have ever met who again levied the very same fraudulent charges. Fortunately, that frivolous lawsuit never made it to court. It's a shame that Mr. Banks was not as fortunate as I was. I commend him for hanging tough and I wish him the best in his efforts to make the Atlanta Falcons! Either way, I'm ready to include him in my documentary, AMERICAN INJUSTICE. Are you listening Innocence Project and Jay Glazer? Keep up the good work, Mr. Banks! You represent all of us!

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  14. Mr. Banks,

    If you would like to appear in my film or if you would like to be interviewed in Positive Impact Magazine, please feel free to reach me at 407-508-0200 and at Robert@RobertJSmith.com.

    Thank you!

    Smitty

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  15. I am so happy you have received the freedom you so rightfully deserved! I applaud your courage to endure all that you have and your strength to move forward with such a positive spirit. Thank you for sharing your story that I know will inspire others as it has inspired me. I will enjoy watching you play and I will pray for you as you continue your career. I love watching football but even more so I love seeing a player who is such a great role model for our youth! Bring it ALL to the field. GOD BLESS!!

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  16. Brian you are an amazing man. So many would look for vengeance but you use your potential to its fullest! I am praying you are able to receive everything you dream of.

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